who can i actually trust??

now i dun trust anione animore le.. left few few frens. bt it's ok. at least it's betta den having those frens who backstabbed and betray u.. natually, i trust wanling, joyce, annabelle, ailieen, "him" and my twin n des. the rest i nt so sure.. i suppose my 2 daddies, honey, esther mei mei, sm, ben kok and terrence.. guess tt's all.. cant live without my twin for now.. guess she realli mean alot to me [of cos lah] she seemed to have gone thru lots wif me!! des oso. bt seems lyk we arent much close nw.. perphas due to us being in different class.. bt.. u'll still be my fren. u still is a part in me!!! lurbe ya lots! for twin: natually i'll trust u!! we have been thru so much if i cant trust u den hu i still can trust?? i'll keep ur promise kies? and do keep mine =D practically u noe everything.. the same goes for des too.. hahas. to wanling: thx for believin in me. to joyce n annabelle: i'll block u guys from the ghostly figure and block me if needed too :) i cant stand it either. to all my seniors: take good cares and all the best to ur 'o' and 'n' level!! sometimes i doubted myself.. can all those mentioned be trusted? actually i myself doesnt quite sure either. frankly, dere is one more person i have realli trusted.. yet for now.. i'm nt too sure liao le.. we used to be so close.. yet 1 msg.. *jus 1 mind u. totally shocked me. i didnt expect tis to happen. i suppose we wont be tt close. i'll be afraid of u. trust me.

stupid lame. cold sweat.

haha. those fucking idiots doesnt noe the meaning of backstab and betray. they r the same. dun believe go ask mdm yasmin lah. use those stupid names to flood me. as if i dunnoe isit. i doesnt even wan those stupid and lame words to be left behind on my blog which is so nicely decorated blog. the password rox!! SOME PPL DARE TO WRITE THOSE NAMES YET I SUPPOSE WONT ADMIT THOSE WORDS. hahas. i dispised those ppl. dare to do yet dun dare to admit. watever i wan to do doesnt concern u and u doesnt even need to read my blog. as if i dunnoe. u dun deserve the name tt ur parents gib u. dun tell ppl those words tt u dun mean to keep ur promise to. no one asked u to c me. u can get ur fucking existance off tis world. no one needs u. wat i wan to sae wat i wan to do even as a gangster doesnt need ur consent. go tell mr toh or the new om lah. mr bernard chew oso can. c who they believe. u or me. i'm nt even the least of afraid. cum lah. c who is the gangster, who is the fucking bitch. guess it seems lyk to be u. at least i have the trust of my frens. i dun need ur fucking existance. GET LOST FROM TIS WORLD. [tis is the most polite tone i'll do to u]

stupid verrine.

smack all those fucking bitches in tis world!!!!! TO VERRINE: u tink i wont go over dere to smack ur face? i'll if i wan. i jus DUN WAN TO DIRTY MY HAND by touchin something tt is so digusting and idiotic. it's jus nt worth it. if u never do anithing wrong, u dun hab to feel guility at all.. u mean u feel GUILITY?? or else how cum u will protest. dun say good things in my tag when ur fucking blog write all those stupid things. jus 2 words- NO GUTS. so wat even u gt ur backing. i have mine too. i'm nt afraid of u. do al those things n dun dare to admit. nt even a sry tt tym. so wat if u sae nw? i dun gib a damn to u. so wat if i diao u?? it's my eye nt ut urs. u nt happi den dun c it. i dun care n i wont wan to care. wat u have done u noe it urself. i trust my own judgement n my frens. so wat even if dey patch back wif u?? i hate u means i hate u. i've my own stand n i dun need anione to judge it. n tt's include u! so u betta get out of my sight and get lost now. hate me so wat? i dun care. gt it clear thru ur stupid brain n scalp. hate me jus write out my name. gt it. i have no fear in everything i do. ppl who tok doesnt even need to have actions. dun tok cork when u dun mean it. sae wat u regretted to doing all those when u dun mean it at all. since u r nt interested to patch back den dun sae those stupid things which need ppl to sympathise u. i bhb or is it u? gt it clear lor. i lyk to look in jus one sided story. i lyk being biased u. so wat. u jealous ar? i dun gib a shit to u. u dun even have the chance of getting to c those story. so wat even if i lyk to interfere? i have all the veri much right to interefe wif it cos of all da complicated reasons. i have wan ling jie jie as my ke ai de stead, chinhui as my twin and annabelle and joyce as my fren. at least my stand is much higher as compared to u. who r u to dem? u r onli wanling's mei. n tt's all. stupid loser freak. so wat even u r ivan's mei? i dun gib a damn. at least i dare sae the time when i c him is much more den u. u doesnt even noe wat the rest are doing towards u n u tinks ur great. haha. wat joke. dun cry when u noe wat's REALLI happening by den as ask ppl to sympathise wif u. i'm so sry to write all those to those ppl who jus happen to c my blog. i've to get some things clear. ___________________________________________________________________ we went to watch the chicken run during or chem and physic lesson.. the starting was so boring.. bt in the ending it was so nice!!! i was sittting wif esther n simin.. the 3 of us at the phy lab tt is quite at the far end.. can sae we r the few who are always toking thruout the show. =X den mr lai was a few centimeter away frm me.. he was ticking the names who handed in the files.. actually the show haven finished wan.. bt the next period after chem was physic.. den mr lai asked mdm lim if we can watch the show and she said tt we could.. yay!! i was so happi to finished watching the movie.. den ended up we didnt do anithing much in this 4 lessons.. bt tt mr lai so bad sia.. he said i look lyk the ginger in the show.. i dun!!! hahas. jus gt back my report book ytd.. the results arent realli up to my expectations.. guess most ppl feel tt way too.. all my results dropped alot.. except for my geo onli.. [at least i'm able to faced wif my ke ai de mdm sim] my ca is much betta.. based on the results i cant even go a jc.. guess i realli have to work superly hard for the second semester.. hmm.. i wont go out as and when i wan le.. i wont go hm late late animore. i wont tink anithing more than working hard for my grades. i wont care anithing more on the class.. i jus wanna concentrate on getting good results. at least i wont disappoint all those ppl who have high hopes on me. after june, i jus wanna chiong for my grades. and put in all the effort in my studies. tt's all. guess i wont be bothered wif ani other problems in da class..

pissed off.

fine. so wat even u send me an email?? jus b'cos of a email will gib me enugh reason to forgib u? NO WAY MAN! last tym if anione dare to do the same thing dey will suffer a hell life out. i dare to sae tt i realli GIB U ALOT OF CHANCES. and i swear i wont animore. u dun even noe wat is realli happening and claimed tt u realli do. wat chalet? who the fuck sae tt?? it's nt even true. UNLESS U R THE ONE TT GO N FIND OUT THRU THOSE UNDERHAND METHODS. it's so damn fucking!! unless hafiz is the one. [cant tink anione other than u. sry hafiz if it wasnt u] IF IT EVER LET ME FIND OUT WHO THE FUCK SAE TT, I'LL GIVE HELL TO U!! I SWEAR. ALL THE CLASS THINGS MUS BE U SAE RITE?? ALL THE PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTICAL THINGS U DARE TO SAE OUT. I WONT LET U GO SO EASILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *unless for some special reason. sae wat u change.. i wont care n i dun care. so wat? i oso gt change bt DID u c it?? U DUN EITHER. sae i didnt notice.. wat shit. I'LL JUS PRETEND TT I DIDNT NOE U B4. i jus wanna to cherish the tym when we did have fun. tt's all. sae wat i push the blame to u.. is not lor. is wat all ppl will do. i'm nt the exception too. u reflect wat u did to me and tink wat if others did the same thing to u. u'll be angry too! humph.

watever.

fine. make it seems lyk my fault rite?? as u wan. as i say, i dun care. and i wont. it always happen to me. it's nt once or twice. it EVERYTIME n usually. u asked the majority if u dun believe. NW, IT'S MY FAULT TO EVERYTHING [if it seems to u] happi????

unfated.

i was actually veri happi todae.. bt the trip to china simply anger me alot. 3e3 was SUPPOSED to go to mr chew's hse on 14th July n UNFORTUNATELY, i wasnt back yet.. argggghhhhhhh. i did badly want to go after all my hardwork done to tis midyr exam and i cant go.. if i were to choose, i rather go to mr chew's hse as compared to china. even though both r the rare times where i gt to go.. guess i'm the wierd ones.. i rather go to chew's hse den go china lo.. i waited for so so long b4 we gt to go.. guess i'm jus nt fated to go... hais.. todae gt a new gan kor.. [who was jus older than me by 1mth and 12days..] somemore we knew each other so long liao..

sians.

finally i did change my skins. tis is soo nice!!! life sux!! filing n filing was wat i did mainly in sch. my chi was kena taken for checking.. luckily i have all the stuffs.. mdm ho took my file for reference.. wonder wat's next for the geo.. hope tt my no. wasnt chosen.. my eng file was done n handed in to ms picca.. den fan ye borrowed frm me.. tmr have tt bloody sickening course for the whole level.. bt.. it's good. we get to skip lessons.. haha. bt oso nth much lo.. onli eng. hais. sian. still have to bring 3 1.5litres of water... seems lyk tmr i'll look so retard.. still gt geo file to take.. todae found a new stead!!! actually wasnt the real kind lah.. is jus wanling.. i dun realli noe her too.. except the fact tt she was wif joc n annabelle wif ailieen.. den i noe dey all cos of chinhui.. she oso the same cca as dem.. tt's y.. wanling.. she's so cute.. everytym we both siao siao wan.. was so coincidence tt we met at the mrt.. so shocked lo.. hahas. hope for all the best for ur 'n' n 'o' levels!!! juvone simply pissed me off todae. broke the key holder. well, i'm nt going to gib a damn on it animore. tt tym the key wasnt suppose to be taken by me. since i'm geo n u r lit, it's fine wif me tt u PASSED it to me PERSONALLY. bt u simply PUT IT ON MY TABLE and thus resulted in them throwing the keys abt and the key holder was SPOILT. now it happen AGAIN and i dun care animore. u go ur way n i go mine. i cant be bothered animore. i kena scolded by machael toh n u tink nth happens rite?? i dun care animore. gt it clear. verrine pissedd da whole choir seniors. n doesnt noe the difference between backstabbed n betray. i shall ask ms picca abt it tmr if i rmb. she wanna patched back wif twin.. i was so angry!! gib all the lame excuses n wan to patch back wif twin. i smack ur face den u noe!! bt TWIN: if u wanna patch back [which i tink is so impossible] tell me 1st..

todae.

whee` jus came hm todae after going out since abt 9am.. 12hrs out frm hm.. feeling quite good.. no mother's n jie's nagging. life's great. actually is tt i went to the zoo to do my project.. went wif twin n ridzwannnieee to do on the plants n animals.. too bad it rain.. kena flood seh.. at first we thot was lyk wasted.. bt after the rain.. it wasnt tt bad lo.. we took lots n lots of pic.. i tink have abt 150++ totally alot n my batteries r exhaust.. luckily gt extra 2 more.. we didnt took alot of pic.. bt instead a lot on the animals n the plants.. tink our pic gt less than 10 lo.. after tt went to eat wif twin n kris to eat.. jus reach hm n i'm dead beat tired. gosh. tink wanna slp earlier liao.. on msn nw.. found out a fun thing- msn photo swap.. tink it's so interesting xcept the fact i was so retarded.. i cant find the key.. took so long.. sry. [to whom who c tis n noe i'm refering to u] hais.. i going china soon le.. dunnoe y.. bt dun seemed to miss s'pore.. tink perphas twin.. perphas all my GOOD n BEST frens here... perphas.. perphas.. hahas. someone lah.. i oso dunnoe.. cant bear to leave here..

sujun. y?

ok. fine. stupid. everytime liddat. all the time. jun jun jun. y? how cum? hais. i dun blame u. bt. y? i didnt expect tis to happen. esp when i'm jus in tis good mood. i jus found out. it hurts me alot lor. i thot u r the best mei. cos i wasnnt realli close wif min. thou she's so much fantastic. bt y? wat did i do tt resulted in tis? i didnt expect tis. realli. u n des mean so much to me. last time me n des quarrel so big. n is u. i realli cant take it liao. i choose to be much more silent. i tried to be calm. i'll. SUJUN: if u ever c tis. dun blame me. i jus gt to noe tis too. i'm disappointed n shock wif u. perphas i can stand all those ppl backstab n betray me. bt i realli treat u as my real mei. is tis all i'm getting back after all those years. i thot u quite understand me liao. we been thru quite so much. yet.. perphas tis is the normal stuff in frenship ba. suan le. i couldnt be bothered wif all tis kind of time. bt i wan to let u understand tis. i realli enjoyed my time hanging out wif u. esp on 13th may. realli. i mean it.

changi. tamp.

whee~ went home at abt 7++ todae. and luckily my mum didnt sae anithing abt it. kinda shocked. (oops) nt lyk her usually self todae. in the morning i guessed i shocked her by telling her tt i'm going out wif my fren and didnt tell her before hand. even asked me if gt $$ to spend anot sia.. surprised. actually we wanted to go to the escape theme park. bt we didnt went dere in the end.. we went to changi aiport JUZ to eat. we took mrt dere n we made a hell lots of noise on it. cos dere wasnt anione on it.. tt's y. dere was a wierdo bedow green sec guy who came asking the four of us y we didnt went sch.. hahas. he's so stupid lor. on our trip back all of us run to the right end before boarding the train oso dunnoe for wat.. tink is for fun de lor. hahas. i joined in too. den the green view guy c us den i tink he thot we wan to snatch the last seat n he quickly rush dere oso. lame sia. we took neoprints at the tamp outlet too. the pic wasa kinda JUZ alright lo. bt since it's the 1st outing, it will be in my wallet leh.. hahas. honour sia. lols. i oso saw yu shu, jade, wangxu, kai liang and victor dey all.. after tt, we went to the 201 dere. gt those night stalls opening.. yeps. and before long, it was 6++ and i heading back home. ya.. tt all for our journey.. it's was quite a normal trip.. bt it's realli nice to be the four of us together. i missed those times. nw.. i guess the situation has changed for all of us le ba.. hais. ~all the best gals~

exams over.

yay~! exams r FINALLY over lo.. y muz s'pore have exams??? it's so stressing for the pupils n the teachers lorr.. stupid. td the paper.. hahas. quite alright lo.. i realli make the effort to study realli hao hao for tis time lo. realli wanna to have good marks for my geo. i dont wanna to dui bu qi my dearest mdm sim XD so rox my life man~! seeing her each dae can be considered good enugh for me.. (ever since tt time when i quarrel wif des) she's so understanding.. cos of her n ms picca's words realli "wake" me up alot.. guess i was a bit over sentitive ba.. bt since it's over i wont tink too much le larh.. treasure the times we had been together. it's good enough liao. went wif twin to bugis.. n den to wishma n den to orchard. it's so fun ba.. we actually intended to buy her mom's present wan.. bt b4 tt we went to herren to take our pics. the 1st wan was quite alright.. bt the second one seemed so plain.. cos of me lo.. i accidentially press on smt.. den tt's y we cant go decorate (sry twin) finally gt time to play the com.. den saw ruimin todae.. hahas. shock + surprise. hmm.. seems lyk she's quite carefree ba.. she's still the same ruimin.. who wans to lead a carefree life ba.. go wif nature. i will definately miss u. hmm.. gt some unknown freaks gt my number n even noe my name.. wonder hu the hell spread my no. lyk hell.. everytime lyk tt. stupid (curse the person)

exams.

hm.. exams r ending.. pheeewww.. finally.. left onli geo n listening for chinese. des so bad seh.. kept emphasing tt she dont have ani paper tmr.. i can onli console myself tt she still have to go sch tmr. *hee hees* almost all the paper seemed so "chim" to me lo.. 1st time lyk all the paper leh... sad seh. the chem paper td was so stupid.. dunnoe if can pass anot sia.. cos lyk all the questions i dunnoe hw to do.. the e and a math paper was a disaster for me.. *hais* nw cannot compete wif chi ben animore.. i thot i can de.. he said it was easy.. bt.. i feel tt it's damn hard lo.. n for my poor slutty daddy.. lost 6 marks cos of a missing page.. he seemed quite sad.. pity him.. seemed lyk cant help.. wat can i do?? no school for me on fri `hip hip hurray`heading to escape wif jun, ting n des.. the first (n perphas onli) trip we will be going lorr.. mus cherish!!!! reallii. i promise. they r quite the few ppl who realli went thru alot wif me in the last yr (or maybe 2) we will be the crazy 4 tt dae kies? smt i wonder hw cum we can be so so understanding to each other lo.. we seemed lyk onli noe each other nt veri long.. yt we can lyk tt.. seemed lyk a miracle. hohohox..

midyr.. 2more daes.

arghhh.. mid yr juz two more daes.. superly scared lorr.. later my results lyk omg den siao liao.. hais.. juz got back my CA1 results todae.. it's still slright larh.. never fail ani subjects ~whoo~ budden L1R5 exactly 20.. ~gosh~ budden was a bit disappointed wif my a and e math results.. hmm.. tt stupid ben *oops* win me by 4marks and den i told him i'm going to beat him next term (or rather nw) den he sae he wont let me.. *cry* den my math seemed to drop so much le.. haix.. sad lorr.. i used to be the 1st (xcept when tt time thomas beat me in final term-cant 4get tt) nw.. no more le.. onli 2nd.. elated wif my eng and chi marks ~kinda of expected tt~ my chem, phy, geo were totally "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeks" to me (pardon my words) went to took pic wif twin.. the pic was lyk alright lorr.. next time go bugis dere kies ~i promise u twin~ (u one n onli leh.. surprise? glad? shocked? wanna go after history elective paper)